Visual interest shouldn’t trump safety, especially when it comes to staircases. This is more death trap than decor.

Oh, hell no! I’m sorry, but there is no way I’m sitting on that toilet seat. Who wants any type of insect — even if it is just pretty pictures of butterflies — that close to their … well, you know? Certainly no one with an overactive imagination.

Have you ever had to take a cold shower for whatever reason? It’s really unpleasant, and that’s putting it mildly. I wonder if that’s why this person thought a fireplace in the shower would be a good idea.

You know, there are so many things on this list that are just plain strange. This piano/range hood hanging on the kitchen wall is definitely the strangest.

It could use a little work, but it has a huge selling feature. It comes with a mother-in-law suite. Plus, a door to her own private deck.

Ladies, I have a question for you. If you were interested in a man, and you found out this was his bed, how fast and how far would you run?

The talk with the contractor … “I really want an island there.” “Sorry, ma’am. Those are weight-bearing joists.” “But I really want an island there.” “Yes, ma’am. But as I said, those joists are necessary.” “But I really want an island there.” The contractor throws his hands in the air. “Fine, whatever.”

This is certainly up for argument. Whether an old Chevy pickup — or at least part of one — is really a beautiful choice and whether that same partial pickup is a good choice as a bed frame.

Perhaps there’s a method to this madness. If you don’t want people lingering in your powder room, this is surely the way to go. It’s freakish and a little bit scary.

First, who lives here? Some 7-foot-tall basketball player? Because most people will not be able to see themselves in that mirror. Secondly, who in their right mind puts a mantle in the bathroom?

When did we start taking the open concept floor plan to a whole new level? The Jacuzzi tub in the kitchen is brilliant. Or is it the other way? A kitchen in the bathroom?

Do you hate having a door glass since you’re afraid taller people are going to be able to look in your home? Ha! Fooled them!

You know how the light hurts your eyes when you turn it on in the morning if it’s still dark when you get up? This is the equivalent. Most people would need to slam their eyes shut when they walked into this room. All that, plus a checkered tile floor.

I’m not sure what this room is, but I’m guessing some sort of wine cellar. If your aim is for people not to linger, this interior design is dead on. I think those people painted on the wall are running away screaming, not singing.

You know those things that cat owners have so their cats claw it instead of the furniture? Is this a life-size replica?

Are these people completely stupid? This goes way beyond bad design ideas; this is near-certain death for someone in that pool or below it. There will be a weight calculation for that balcony, and you can be sure this far exceeds it!

If you weren’t some sort of lunatic — are we still allowed to say that? — to start off with, living in this nightmare would quickly turn you into one. Before long, you will be twitching and drooling.

Who thought this would be a good idea? Statistics show an alarming amount of injuries that happen in the home happen while getting out of the bath. So why would you make it 100 times more dangerous? You need to be a circus performer to get out of this tub.

First, I’m not a fan of yellow. Most certainly not yellow in my kitchen. But I digress. I hope they plan to grow old and die in that house because no one is going to buy it with that kitchen. And while there may be valid reasons for having the dishwasher a little higher, this is just fugly. On so many levels.

There had to be some other architectural design we could have gone with here, right? The zig-zag look is really quite an interesting one. You’ll definitely want to make sure you watch your head on that deadly sharp corner poking down at ya.

City living is tough when you grew up surrounded by all those open spaces. All those barnyard animals. Clearly, there’s something you can do. You can have the best of both worlds.

I was so caught up in the horror that is this bathroom, I nearly missed something. There are clothes hanging in the windows that look like they are part of the window coverings. Why?

Who lives here? Cave dwellers? The Flintstones? Pebbles and Bam Bam all grown up and married? All I can say is those door frames must be incredibly strong not to cave under that pressure.

Sit a while and soak your feet. You’ll feel so rejuvenated. Or, if there is a man in the house, be very concerned about his aim. Shudder!

Anyone else suddenly having issues with their breathing? The air quality in this room is atrocious. Now, who in their ever-loving mind would decorate with mold? That looks so creepy and disgusting.

Is this a life-size version of Barbie’s playhouse? Or maybe one of the Disney Princesses? The walls are bad enough. Then let’s add the sheers and the multicolored cushions and it looks like a box of crayons vomited.

These creepy stairs lead up to … who knows what? Possibly a serial killer lives in this house, and he likes to collect hair and make carpets out of it. Otherwise, I’m stumped!

The delicate pink butterfly in the background. The “sexy” giant lady lamp in the foreground that’s either carrying a weird purse or a boombox. And let’s not miss her necklace and flag.

I’m sorry, but I have nothing to say about this abomination, so you’ll have to talk amongst yourselves. I need to go look at something pretty for a while — or bleach my eyes. I’ll be back when my brain starts functioning again.

Nice, big island in the middle of the kitchen? Check. Legs and feet that stick out far enough to constantly trip out the legs and feet trying to walk around it? Check. This is a disaster waiting to happen.

What mood should your kitchen inspire? Probably one of comfort and calm. This “Rubik’s Cube” kitchen just inspires angst and tension. At least the dogs seem to like it!

Let’s ignore the ugly kitchen and address the dishwasher in the wall. Yes, in case you missed it, there is a dishwasher in the wall. If you’ve ever loaded a dishwasher, raise your hands. Now, think about where you’re typically standing, given the door takes up about 3 feet of space in front. Are they standing on the counters to load that thing?

Captain and the Missus are fine seafaring folk. They love to sleep amid the crashing waves and under the constellations. But don’t worry, they have a sextant handy.

This looks like a reception area. I feel like there should be a hostess standing there too, ready to take your coat. What’s the correct protocol? Do you leave a tip when you are in someone’s home?

Is that entire bathroom covered in carpet? Or velour blankets? Towels? I really can’t tell. And honestly, does it even matter? Looks like someone REALLY liked flower.

I’m not sure what’s happening here. Having said that, I think this might be someone’s idea of a home theater. Let’s forget the fact there are appliances there for a moment. Don’t the curtains, the screen, and the thing that might be a wannabe Oscar in front of it make you think of a movie theater? And that might be a projector or a vacuum cleaner hanging from the ceiling.

Some people read in the bathroom, But I guess other people pretend to ice fish as they sit on the toilet … and that there are dead fish littering the ground around them. Makes sense to me.

So, despite the violent orange, this bathroom is just a little too basic. I really think they could take it up a notch with the right choices in towel bars, towels, and some really awesome rugs. And don’t get me started on that bare window.

Can you imagine having to use this bathroom every day? The hideous walls aren’t even the biggest issue. Look at that tub! It’s all rough and sharp. No one I know wants to have their flesh pierced while bathing. To each his own, I guess.

Not too sure what’s up with the raised seating platform next to the best. Kinda creepy!

You know how real estate agents say kitchens and bathrooms mean the most when it comes to resale? Have you noticed how many of these pictures are of kitchens and bathrooms? What are people thinking?

When remodeling your kitchen, it’s a good idea to hire a pro, especially if you don’t have a clue. They could share things with you like the fact there are slide-in ranges for situations like this. Or even better, a stovetop and oven drawer.

I know you’re thinking someone got crazy with Photoshop, but this is the real deal. The island looks like a shattered remnant of granite. And what’s up with the basketballs on the counter in the background?

I envision a bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub to have a measure of tranquility. It should soothe. And while blue is known to be one of the soothing colors, this bathroom just makes me anxious. I mean, are there sharks too?

OK, at first, I thought this was a courtyard. You know, outside the house, leading to the front door. But nope. This seems to be inside the front entrance. And everyone wants the front door blocked by a firepit, right?

So, you don’t want your fireplace. I’m sure there are better ways than this to deal with it. Like removing the mantle and covering that stone.

You know that famous painting by Edvard Munch called “The Scream”? For some reason that’s the first thing that popped into my head when I saw this kitchen. It’s the purple and blue smears that did it. Ironically, that painting is supposed to indicate anxiety, which is exactly what those cabinets make me feel.

The DNA strand columns? The fact that they’re not centered around the door? The fact that nothing seems to be centered? Check out the house number and the porch light. Oh, and that door does not go with that house.

I will admit that at the end of a long day I love to sit in a hot bath. Maybe with a glass of wine. And I may think something along the lines of, “I could live here.” But writing home on the walls? Nope.

What is it about toilet placement in rooms other than the bathroom? It seems that this homeowner found it necessary to place it in the kitchen. I guess for some people when you gotta go, you gotta go.

I am truly mystified as to why this homeowner felt it necessary, or even a good idea for that matter, to place the refrigerator in the middle of the room. Honestly, it would have been better to give up some counter space for the fridge and place an island here instead.

It looks like whoever designed this bathroom was drunk. Hopefully, they didn’t take a bath while drunk after it was finished. This picture gives me vertigo just looking at it. Yikes!

What is this madness? A bathtub in the closet. This whole setup doesn’t even make sense to me. I’m just sitting here wondering what else they have shoved in that closet, and where exactly this is in the home, the basement?

Here is a bathroom with a lot of mirrors. This might be taking vanity to a whole new level. Talk about seeing everything from a variety of angles. At least it makes the bathroom appear roomier, though I think I could have done without the mirrors on the ceiling.

Well, it looks like the designer of this sink missed the mark. Not only did they miss getting the water in the sink completely, they almost made it impossible to stand next to the sink while the water is running without getting soaked in the process.