A lot of companies would take advantage of fresh grads and pay their hard work with “experience”. Well, experience doesn’t pay the bills so you might as well take the copier, the coffee maker, the water cooler, and your team leader’s potted aloe vera.

Prepare your bridal registry and sneak it into a busy secretary’s to-do list. There’s a chance you’ll be shrugged off, but also an equal chance to score a state-of-the-art espresso machine.

If you’re looking for a job, chances are, they wouldn’t even meet your reference. Imagine scoring your dream job with a pizza box’s worth of an Oscar-winning performance.

Coffins cost a lot and you can’t even enjoy the comfort! Let your family get the funeral money and just ask for the complimentary body bag. They wouldn’t even know the difference when you’re six feet under.

If you feel like a hot smoking one is coming, get a pot lid and toss it on the floor. Just make sure you finish farting once the lid settles down. You can always blame the smell on someone else.

Good news, North Carolinians! Doing the math, it will be around $40 for the fast track. You have health insurance for lung disease, right?

And make sure to tilt it down so everything drips out. Everything is covered by insurance but oil is oil, buddy. We can’t let it go to waste.

Late for work? Business meeting imminent? No means to iron your shirt? Just down a liter more of cola and let that shirt stretch over the extra inches. Remember there’s a stapler just in case a button gives up the fight.

Ever had that moment when you’re driving over 30 minutes already before realizing you don’t have your wallet with you? Not to mention getting caught in an embarrassing situation where you’re the only one without a backup egg.

You just have to get in touch with your inner child. Cover your eyes and the world magically disappears. If all else fails, you can always run away! Okay, don’t take this really bad advice.

Don’t let anyone take your heavenly chocolate cake experience from you! Down the slice in one go for that lasting sinful freshness! Moist til the last second.

Your car insurance is a scam, apparently, because every car is equipped with a “undo accident” button. We’re just not sure if you’re included in the undo.

This guy just singlehandedly ended the worldwide problem of rush hour gridlocks. Two words: JUST DRIVE. What the hell are you stopping for? Your car wheels aren’t there for show.

The longest-running children’s TV show worked around the premise “How can we use TV to educate kids?” Now you have your answer, and you can do that to any show at any time. Want your Spongebob? Then read.

To make things even better, take a dump while clocked in. What are they gonna do about it? Let you work with your crap on?

Score some extra brownie points on the morning after! It’s a great idea until you realize that spelling isn’t really one of the barista’s strongest skill set.

Not that we’ve tried it but if you’re walking three blocks down, you’d be doing ah “D’oh!” with a head slap around thirty three times. Don’t forget your hat next time.

Generic plastic jugs, mason jars, upcycled wine bottles, or the pot in the oven that’s been unused for five years! You’ll never have to experience the sour taste of spoiled milk on your lips.

The best part about this trick is it only uses things in your household! Tap water, a glass, and the indomitable will to turn your 8-hour shift into 4! Not convinced? There’s also a good chance you’ll be skipping work for the next two weeks.

Out of eggs? No problem. According to the post, a Nordic food lab, blood can be a substitute for egg due to similar protein composition. This is just to satisfy our curiosities, okay? We are not recommending it. Purely for science. But 65 grams of blood for an egg, and 43 grams for a serving of egg white.

The idea is simple: If your house is starting to smell like the cinema, maybe it’s time to get out. Now you can have a snack while watching the fire department guys take care of the rest of your house.

The early age of e-mail saw the rampant messaging of a Nigerian prince. And while the rest of the world dismissed it as a scam, a Nigerian apartment is drowning in cash. When you get an e-mail from a Nigerian prince, you answer that Nigerian prince.

A national anthem can last between two to three minutes, depending on the country you’re in. We’re telling you this because that’s the only window you have to not get shot. They’re trained to respect the flag and to kill.

This scam is so good we can’t even hate it. Step 1, look for a washer dryer for sale. Step 2, ask them if you can try it just so you can make sure it’s worth your money. Step 3, walk away and enjoy your freshly washed shirt.

Somewhere out there, a person is keeping this map handy. And when you see that person, I think it’s a good idea to call the cops on them.

See, this is the kind of idea that’s born from too much alcohol. Bait the moths with light, drink a mouthful of liquor, light up a stick, then flambé the hell out of those critters.

You can even try and smell to see if it’s “spicy” then bless the food with your fluids. There’s a really high chance that you’ll lose a friend but who needs them when you can get a free bag of chips?

You want to put off doing project A, then do project B while procrastinating on project A. You’ll end up making progress on both, which begs the question “But did you really procrastinate?”

Have you ever thought about the inspiration behind the forklift? Well, never be intimidated again when they ask you out for sushi dinners, dumpling breakfasts, or Chinese takeouts!

There’s always a card for every occasion. Birthdays, weddings, funerals, graduations, and team evaluations. If you want to be passive-aggressive but less on the aggro, you can run to your nearest stationery store so you can say exactly what you don’t want to say!

The awkward moment when you’re making a public service information sharing until you realized you’re making future criminals. Nevermind the fact that they’re using readily available household chemicals.

Sometimes, the solution is so obvious that it’s staring right at us. If it’s folded on one side, hammer it from the other! You can do that to your dented car too, for chrissakes.

This is not scientifically proven but the efficacy of this idea significantly improves if you choose a colorful rocket ship patterned sock. Slowly lick the coffee from your mug too.

No one’s gonna steal that brownie goodness at work if you cook your brownies on corn cob pans. Up the effect by putting on a generous serving of chocolate icing, then dump it in a plastic bag. Take a good whiff off it too when you open the bag.

This is clearly a ridiculous life tip, and we’re pretty sure it’s kinda illegal too. But at the end of the day, you can always say “He’s just addicted to me!” when people start to call you “psycho”.

You don’t need renovations or mirrored walls! Reclaim that space and make your apartment feel bigger just by doing your laundry! And yes, that laundry mound is actually your coffee table.

Okay, we all know that the free version functions almost like a paid version. But when you feel like you deserve a better desktop background, you can always march into your local library for free legal copies. That’s your tax money after all.

Annoyed that you can’t see your password as you type it? Never hit a log-in snag ever again by making your password “********”. Forgetting your password will be a thing of the past!

While science struggled in finding the secrets to prolong life, here you are, aging only once every four years. It might take a really long time before you get to the legal age of drinking, but at least you can still party hard when you’re friends are 60.

You can always say you ate a piece, or “zero slices”. Because by the laws of cake math, you are technically correct, which is the best type of correct.

This tip would not only help you get a “higher salary”, it will also land you a date in court. And most probably, whatever pay you got from this negotiation will be your last. Ever.

Got a coffee stain on your favorite khaki shorts? Well, soak the whole thing in coffee to hide the stain! You can do this on wine stains, rust stains, bleach stains, and even blood. Okay, maybe not the last one.

Nothing can make a robber run faster than a hungry cannibalistic psychopath. Just make sure your robber isn’t carrying a bigger fork.

Disinfecting your house has never been this easy! Load the soap and bleach in your washer and watch it clean your house, your dog, your dishes, and even your laundry.

Have that consuming feeling of dread that an argument is about to erupt? Get a mop and start on the floors. She doesn’t want to mess with someone who’s doing something she doesn’t want to do.

Imagine you’re camping and a mountain lion jumps out from the bushes. You pat on your belt and realized you’ve forgotten your laser pointer. Fret not! Toss a box and see them fit themselves in. A big cat is still a cat, and science says cats love boxes.

Tired of trying and failing? Never really liked the feeling of defeat? Well, always remember that you cannot fail what you’ll never try! You can’t succeed either but success is also “not failing”.

Can’t even imagine how people lugged around books before the dawn of Kindle. Good thing there’s always a way to make your 500-page novel much more portable.

In the world of modern dating, efficiency is key. You can sort by area, appearance, and size, and you don’t even need to install another app. No, don’t take this crappy advice.

You can flex how heavy you’re carrying and show the entire gym how manly you are. But you’ll just end up tired and sore after all that useless bragging. Good thing you can always lift a lighter load and finish your sessions faster.

If you think that investments and stocks are the only way to get rich, try stealing from your rich dad. Just make sure you can keep enough to change your name and move into a new town.

Tired of car bills eating through your savings? You can easily turn your next installment into your last by not paying everything else after that! You might lose the car but at least you’re not paying anymore.

Having a hard time planning when to get that beach vacation? Hop into your local cable provider’s schedule and see the latest news about Shark Week. It usually happens between July and August, which falls squarely on your summer break.

The secret to wealth has never been this easy. All you have to do is be born rich and everything else will fall into place. When someone asks you how you got so successful, just tell them to stop being poor.

Tired of swiping over jobless bums who kept on saying their “start-ups” are on to something? Grab a phone and order a 14″ pepperoni with olives. At least you know that these guys have all of those, and takes good care of your pizza.