Sitting too upright or posing like you’re royalty might make you look unapproachable. That kind of posture can come off as snooty or too self-important. There’s a difference between being confident and being smug — and most people steer clear of arrogance.
So loosen your stance and flash a warm smile!

Slouching your shoulders can make you seem invisible. That kind of posture tells others — and yourself — that you’re unsure, insecure, and not worth noticing. It sends the message that you’re lacking confidence.
And while some men might be into that, they’re not usually the ones you want to be around.

The way you sit should reflect both strength and femininity. Striking this balance shows you’re self-assured but also soft. Sitting with good posture, shoulders relaxed, and a calm expression demonstrates poise.
And never underestimate the power of a genuine smile.

Models have a trick called the “smize,” which means smiling with your eyes. If your lips aren’t smiling, your eyes can do the talking. A well-executed smize adds an air of mystery and allure.
Men are naturally drawn to a woman who smiles — and a smize adds something they can’t quite explain but want to understand.

Smiling is great — in fact, it’s one of your best tools. But going overboard with it makes it seem artificial. Smiling non-stop, especially when it’s forced, can make you look like you’re trying too hard.
There’s a sweet spot — aim for natural, not constant.

When a guy you like starts a conversation, you want to subtly hold his attention. One effortless way? Touch your hair. Gently tuck a loose strand behind your ear.
If your hair’s draped forward, casually sweep it back and let your fingers trace your neckline. It’s a move that invites the eye without saying a word.

Just be careful with the hair-touching. If you’re doing it because you’re nervous, it’s better to stop. Nervous gestures like fidgeting with your hair can give away your anxiety and possibly turn him off.
It might also cause you to trip over your words. Instead, pause, take a deep breath, and give him a composed smile.

This one’s subtle and needs to be done just right. Put your hand lightly on your chest as you react to something he says — maybe when you’re surprised or amused.
Done correctly, it feels natural and expressive. Moves that draw his eyes to places he finds attractive will leave a lasting impression.

As you’re talking, lightly brush the inside of your wrist — like it’s a passing thought, not a deliberate gesture. Avoid fidgeting with a bracelet or watch, which can come off as nervous energy.
A soft, fleeting touch will spark curiosity in his mind. Just don’t overdo it — once or twice is all you need.

Women who wear heels often know how to move with a rhythmic, natural sway. That fluid hip motion draws attention and signals elegance, poise, and femininity.
If you’re not used to walking this way, practice at home in front of a mirror. It might feel awkward at first, but you’ll eventually carry that confident walk — even without heels.

Glancing around nervously or looking like you’re searching for someone can make you appear needy. Even if you’re just curious about your surroundings, too much looking around sends the wrong message.
Instead, observe subtly. Turn your head gently and take in the scene calmly. Avoid staring — a quick glance does the job.

Touch can be a powerful tool — if used sparingly. When you’re speaking, casually brush his arm or rest your hand briefly on his back. It should feel like a light, accidental graze.
Keep the touch under two seconds. Just long enough for him to notice — and want more.

Pay attention to the sound of your voice when you’re speaking. Is it too quiet or too forceful? Try recording yourself and playing it back. Listening will help you better understand how others hear you.
Aim for a tone that blends confidence with grace.

How you act, move, and speak all send signals. Being aware of these things helps you find the right mix of assertiveness and softness. If you tend to be too passive, work on becoming more direct. If you’re overly dominant, try easing up.
Awareness is key — it helps you break bad habits and develop more intentional ones.

Anna Bey is a British influencer and author who founded the School of Affluence — an etiquette and lifestyle academy focused on luxury and refinement. She’s built a reputation by offering guidance on fashion, elegance, and elite social life.
In addition to her online content, she wrote The Glam Guide: How to Be Chic, Classy and Elegant, which gives practical tips for improving personal style. Bey’s mission is to help people from all walks of life embrace elegance, sophistication, and confidence through manners and self-presentation.