“You never brought the field trip permission slips home because you knew better than to make your mom feel guilty she couldn’t pay the $5-20 fee to let you go.”

– CoolMomInAMinivan

It definitely takes a lot in a young child to put others first over what could have been a fun time. We hope they were able to go to some field trips though.

“My dad grew up very, very poor (we were poor to lower middle class in my childhood), and we would get an earful for mumbling or slouching. It was like the cardinal sin. I got a Christmas present taken away one time because I didn’t speak up enough when I told him how much I liked it.”

– boneyjoaniemacaroni

We love how their dad always taught them to always fight for themselves and to always speak up. Wish all dads were like him!

“Hide money or it will be “borrowed.” Also, don’t get attached to anything because if it’s any good it’ll be sold in a yard sale, and if it has any value it will be pawned. I got the same CD player for three Christmases and birthdays in a row…out of pawn for birthday, pawned again a month later, out of pawn for Christmas, pawned again by March, etc.”

-kitchenwitchin

It’s definitely heartbreaking when you’re given an awesome gift, taken from you, given back, and then taken again. You learn to live with awful things just so they won’t be taken from you.

“”The second you become working age, 10+. You will help with bills. You have no choice. Your money is everyone’s money.” Which is fine, until you realize the new tattoo mom has and dads new tv.”

-FriskyArttie

“If you use the oven during winter, when you’re done, leave it cracked so that the heat warms up the rest of the house more.”

-car_of_men

When you’re poor, you learn to multitask. You learn to look at how your things can serve you in multiple ways.

“Keep your aspirations to yourself. Telling anyone in your household/social strata about your plans to get out and do better may be met with bitterness and downright ridicule. People will call you uppity for wanting to go to school or stupid for having a career goal that isn’t modest and local and vaguely dead-end. People will tell you that you have no common sense simply because you refuse to see the world in terms of pure survival.”

-hardly_surviving

Having dreams is not an option. Learning to get yourself out of your poor situation is not an option.

“I drew all over my PlayStation after getting it out of pawn for the second time. My parents had pawned it the first time after asking me if they could. They promised me all sorts of stuff, like new games and treats when they got it out. That didn’t happen. The second time they pawned it, they did it while I was at school. They didn’t even tell me. They just waited for me to go into my room and see that it was gone. So when I got it back that time, I grabbed a sharpie and drew gross pictures on it and swear words. Same with all my games. I mean, I only had FF7 and Tekken 3, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”

-pianolorian

You didn’t want to take any chances. They can take everything away, just not this one thing.

“I had a girlfriend my sophomore year who’s mom couldn’t pay the bills on time, had a bunch of credit card debt, and when her daughter (my girlfriend at the time) got hit by a drunk driver, she used the money they got to buy a new TV. And then she bought a pool table. Still 3 behind on bills, though.”

-cammywammy123

Priorities, you know. The TV is always entertaining. And pool! Everyone needs to have a good time. Overdue bills and debt are just not fun.

“You’re not hurt unless you’re bleeding. If you are bleeding, don’t bleed on the carpet.”

-cummings9536

Just gotta suck it up. Pain builds character anyway.

“Going to the doctor isn’t an option until your fever is sustained at 104, a bone is broken, or the tooth rotted and won’t fall out on it’s own.”

-gajillionaire1

If it’s not an emergency, it’s not worth it. Bring out the Vicks Vaporub!

“Never tell your friends that you couldn’t afford food or give them any clue about what it’s like at home. My mother used to ask me if I told anyone how we live and that’s when I started questioning our situation.”

-theguy4785

It’s really hard to be with friends when you can’t always be honest with them. But it’s hard when they don’t understand.

“I once told some friends we had mushrooms growing in our house. I thought it was cool. My mom was angry and told me to never tell anyone again. I realized as I got older why she was angry. The floor of our house was rotting…thus the mushrooms. But she couldn’t afford to get it fixed. She was worried CPS would take me away for unsafe living conditions.”

-yavanna12

We can admire the innocence of children. They always find the good in different things, even when it actually means something rotten.

“‘I already ate my lunch’ said to so many peers and teachers over the years.”

-Naly_D

They said that fasting builds discipline. But it would still be good to have something to warm your belly, no?

“I grew up in a trailer. In fourth grade, a girl was having a birthday party and needed addresses for invitations. The next day she told me her parents uninvited me because I lived in the trailer. That was a new thing I learned I was supposed to be embarrassed about.”

-ohnoooooooooooooooo

They say when you tell the truth, you’ll know who your real friends are. Or maybe in this case, you’ll know whose parents you’ll have to avoid from now on.

“Not eating lunch because it you either “just ate breakfast” or “dinners only a few hours away you’ll be fine”

-Tripleshot96

It’s only been a few hours. You can think that hunger away.

“We weren’t allowed to do any kind of extra curricular activities. So, no instruments, no joining any kind of sports or girl scouts or anything that required an upfront investment for uniforms or the season. Walmart shoes. My dad once said I wasn’t really in need of glasses, that I just wanted to look like all my four eyed friends? lol (spoiler alert, totally needed them) Off brand everything.”

-march_rogue

It does make sense though. Sometimes those extra-curricular activities can get so expensive. But which activity doesn’t have some kind of expense? Better to just go home, study, and read.

“Apparently when I was younger, I was content with playing with toys in the store then just letting it go when my parents took it away before check out.”

-iBeFloe

They were trained early on to learn to let go. It’s just their way of life.

“We were very poor growing up. You never ate the last of anything without asking first. Portions were small and limited. When I was 11 I was invited over to a then friend’s house. I was floored by their house and furnishings. Very opulent compared to mine. Lunch time came. Her mom had set the table for sandwiches. Everything laid out, 3 different breads, all sorts of meats, condiments and fruit. At my house lunch was a sandwich with white day old bread with peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes we would have those land o frost thin sliced meats. We were only allowed 2 slices of the meat per sandwich. So, at this friends house, I make my sandwich with one slice of ham because it was way thicker then the stuff at home. The mom kinda freaks out…”what kind of sandwich is that? You need to put more on it, thats not enough.” I explain that’s what we do at home. They were horrified. Ended up sending me home with a “care package” of food. My parents never let me go to her house again because they were embarrassed I told them we were poor.”

-OriansSun

It was a simple sandwich but it meant so much. Who knew bread and deli can change a person’s life?

“A/C was only for company. I lived in S. Florida and didn’t know I could use the air conditioner without having someone over until I moved out of my parents home.”

-AwesomePossumID

They didn’t need to workout to sweat out. They’re inside a literal daily sweat fest.

“Leave the TV on when you leave the house. When someone calls, your parents are “in the shower” and you’re able to take a message. You are perpetually young. Going to a movie? Only during matinee showings AND you are 12 years old until you’re 16. At a restaurant, you’re also 9 forever. Going to fast food (with any adult), you only order off of the dollar menu.”

-systemdreamz

When you’re worried daily, especially with money, you develop habits. And these habits stay with you for a long time, even forever!

“If someone buys you food at a restaurant order as cheaply as possible even if they tell you order whatever you want. Used to get death glares from parents if I ordered something 10 bucks or over at a place where average prices was 10 bucks. If you can get a burger and fries for 8 you better be eating a burger.”

-RaphaelSolo

You’ll learn to scan menus fast. Just look at the price first.

“The oldest kids babysit the youngest kids.”

-PoutinePirate

Yeah, the younger kids don’t even recognize their parents. They only know their older siblings.

“Not being able to wash your clothes until you could do a full, and I mean FULL machine. Getting a stain on a fresh shirt meant scrubbing it with soap over the sink.”

-GroundbreakingMove69

Well, it does make sense. Water is expensive and the washing machine uses a lot of electricity. You’ll just need to be more careful with stains. Or don’t wear light clothes.

“Never fill up the gas tank. You don’t want to be in a situation where you have gas in your car but no groceries.”

-nadjaannabel

It’s all about priorities. A car, you may be able to live without. But a life without groceries? No way!

“Eating stale or close to sell by date, food. No brand-name anything. Adding water to shampoo to get it to last longer. Reuse everything. Make-do or do without. Free samples count as a meal. To name a few.”

-Veganmon

When money is always tight, you learn to develop habits to make your things last longer. And these are habits that you carry even when you get older.

“Not have enough blankets at bed time in the winter. No central heating, used to wake up with ice on the inside of the windows and on the windowsills. I was shocked to be in a hot house in winter when I went round friends.”

-wickit

Winter is coming so brace yourself. Brace yourself for sleepless or freezing nights.

“Education is the only way out of the horrible situation. This was made very clear to me right from a young age. I remember everyone in my family checking in on my grades and plans for the future. Almost on a monthly basis! Helped my extensively in the long run.”

-shyam14111986

Unlike others, their parents want them to have a better future. Work on it now so you can have it later.

“You cook, clean, and pitch in before you are asked. If you’re waiting for an adult to make dinner, you’re going hungry. Also, poor doesn’t mean dirty. You keep what you have nice, clean, and well cared for.”

-mathyoo

You learn to be independent earlier and younger. We love what they learned though, to always take the time to take care of yourself.

“If the phone rings and mom doesn’t answer it, it’s probably the bill collectors. Same with the front door and why the curtains aren’t open.”

-BaloraFortuna

You learn to walk silently in the dark. You learn to do your own thing.

“I remember my dad always getting really excited about very cheap, mundane foods like puffed rice cereal( plain), bologna sandwiches and unflavored steel cut oats. He would get us all amped up about it and we would want to eat it instead of the more expensive stiff we really wanted because of how much he talked it up. Now that I am older(and as a father myself) I don’t think he actually loved all these things that much, but instead my parents just didn’t have the money to buy all that expensive food to feed three growing boys. Sure made the best of it, though.”

-Rebelsoul3480

We don’t always need to eat the expensive food anyway. Sometimes, the best-tasting food are the ones that you don’t expect.

“We went to the movies so infrequently (about 5 times by age 16) that I didn’t know James Bond films were shown there before they were on TV. I was probably 15 before I found out.”

-antmakka

It’s a good thing these movies are eventually shown on TV. Few people have to miss out!

“The thing that I remember was the clothing budget: we had ~$100/yr each for clothes. It wasn’t a hard and fast thing, but that’s basically all the family could afford in terms of clothing, and each of the 5 kids had a large percentage of hand-downs in their wardrobe. I remember thinking that shoes were expensive, because they were one of the only clothing items which regularly wore out, and were like 20% of the annual budget to buy a new pair.

I also remember getting my first non-parent haircut when I went to college, and that was strange, both in the experience, and in spending ~$10 of my own money on it.”

-sigmabody

Thank goodness for hand-me-downs. Just have to figure out how to make them last longer.

“Don’t invite people over unless they are also poor”

-EffEhM

It just makes sense. Not everyone will be able to understand your situation.

“Ask before you get ANYTHING to eat”

-Odd-Row9485

Because you never know what your mom needs it for. And maybe that’s the dinner for the entire family. So always ask first.

“Turn off all lights behind you. Take as quick of showers as you can. Recycle pop cans. Drive slower because it conserves gas. Plan your trip so that you don’t have to drive unnecessary routes and waste gas. Be ok with the heat always at 68 or below (use a blanket if you’re cold).”

-JumpintheFiah

Be mindful of every action that you make. And each step has to have purpose.

“Homemade birthday cakes, homemade pizza, we NEVER went out to eat. Fast food/restaurants were a waste of money. Soda was a treat, as was sugared cereal. You got sox and undies as stocking stuffers at Christmas. You wore your clothes 2-3 times before washing them unless they were obviously dirty or smelly. You washed and dried zipper bags to reuse. We never used paper towels to clean.”

-spunkmeyer122

Well, homemade is always better. And they’ve always been zero waste while other people are only doing it now.

“My wife really had a laugh when I told her I grew up thinking Denny’s was a “fancy restaurant”.”

-mapett

Every person has a different interpretation of the word “fancy.” At least you’re satisfied after eating at Denny’s. That’s what’s important.

“Never count your money where someone else can see, even if it’s like 5 bucks.”

-1ThruZero

Hide that money! People who want it will smell it instantly.

“You get a job when you’re 15 and it becomes more important than high school”

-r00t1

Survival is always the priority. And long-term is not a desirable option

“Just go to sleep if you are hungry and there’s no food at the house”

-Gwyndolinmacho

It’s just easier to go to sleep than think about this.

“If you don’t have dinner that night, ramen is a viable substitute”

-NordyNed

It’s easy, it tastes good and it fills you up. And it’s warm for the belly.

“I still am embarrassed/anxious about ordering an actual entrée when eating a fancy meal at a restaurant. My spouse thought it was so strange back when we were dating that if we went out for an anniversary dinner, I kept ordering soup or salad as my meal and insisting I wasn’t that hungry.”

-hypocrite_deer

You’ve been so used to eating particular meals and courses. And when you have the opportunity to get more, you’re not used to it and you go back to your old ways.

“we didn’t pay for a baby sitter. I WAS the baby sitter. no sense in paying for something if someone is old enough to dial 911.”

-Cantankerous_Won

Older siblings always multitask as baby sitters. They’ve learned to take care of kids before they can take care of themselves.

“It sucked to have to have a computer for school but not be able to afford it.”

-HughGrunt

You’re lucky if your school has a computer. You just hope they’ll let you stay there as much as you need to so you can finish your work.

“Learned as a kid pretty young that the only way I got what I wanted is to get it myself. Started working odd jobs at 12 to earn money to buy stuff to read.”

-HunterRoze

The good thing about this is knowing the value of money at a young age. It’s just disheartening sometimes that it happened that young.

“We were very poor too and I was always hungry. But I did the opposite thing at a friend’s house in middle school. They had a HUGE taco spread for dinner. I took advantage of having food available to me so I pigged out. They noticed and teased me for it, which was totally innocent but I was MORTIFIED. I stopped eating and refused dessert, I was so embarrassed”

-indecisivedisorder

When you’re presented with that much food for the first time, you can’t help but get excited. Hope they were still able to get dessert.

“My father was constantly driving these two things into my head since I was old enough to remember: 1). Hard Work will set you free 2). You WILL NOT get anyone pregnant.”

-TigerTownTerror

Very good life lessons from Dad. Everyone needs to learn this.

“It was normal for money we got for Christmas, birthdays, and (from ages 14 and up) jobs to go to our parents for food and rent. Things did get better when we started working but as the family was doomed to fail due to abuse when we inevitably left at 18 and our parents divorced it left us with nothing. Working four years living at home and none of us were able to save money or go to post secondary until years later.”

-Not-yo-ho-no-mo

Your money was for everyone. It was only for everyone, not for you.

“It’s funny now seeing my leftovers as a bonus snack and not part of the next day’s meal. Had some weird lunches packed for me. Like cream cheese and olives in a burrito wrap.”

-Forgotwhyimhere69

Leftovers as a bonus meal or snack? That’s unheard of!

“We went out to eat once or twice a month. You look to your parents to check before ordering anything. Just get water, never get apps or desserts or the expensive things in the menu. And you eat every bite of the meat, you never waste that.”

-lazyMarthaStewart

They need to make sure the meal gets paid. When they earn their own money, they’ll appreciate this.