Wondering if your partner might be interested in someone else? Certain changes in behavior or attitude can hint at a desire to have an affair. Here are some signs to keep an eye out for.
There’s someone new he mentions a lot
You may notice your partner mentioning a particular name in conversation, hinting that someone new has caught their attention. At first, it might be subtle, but soon that name starts coming up more often. Pay attention—it could be a sign that something is stirring.
There’s more emotional distance
Open communication and honesty are the foundation of a strong relationship, building emotional closeness. If your partner starts to seem distant or frequently finds reasons to be away, it could indicate they’re having trouble connecting—potentially signaling concerns about an affair.
He’s suddenly more affectionate
At first, it might seem sweet when your partner starts showing extra affection—giving unexpected gifts, being overly affectionate in public, or taking on chores without prompting. However, this sudden change could raise red flags, as it may stem from guilt or an attempt to cover up a potential affair.
There’s more effort into his appearance
A sudden change in appearance can sometimes hint at something more, possibly even infidelity. If your partner starts dressing better, working out more, or putting extra effort into grooming—like wearing cologne more frequently—it might be a sign they’re trying to impress someone new. Could they be trying to catch someone else’s attention?
He’s away more often than usual
Increased absences can be another red flag of a potential affair. If your partner suddenly has more late nights at work or frequent weekend “business trips,” it may seem harmless at first. However, they might actually be making time for someone else. Be mindful of the signs.
He accuses you of cheating
Surprisingly, a guilty partner may try to cover up their infidelity by accusing you of cheating. This tactic not only deflects suspicion but also portrays them as the loyal partner. It’s a classic diversion that can leave you questioning everything.
He makes big withdrawals
Money can tell a story. If you notice unusual cash withdrawals from your joint accounts that don’t match your partner’s usual spending, it could be a red flag. They might be using cash to fund outings with someone else, keeping their activities discreet.
He can’t keep his story straight
If your partner starts asking, “Have I already told you this?” often, it could signal they’re confiding in someone new. Sharing personal thoughts with another person can create confusion about who they’ve opened up to, indicating you may no longer be their main confidant.
He’s overly invested in your movements
A significant sign of cheating can be when your partner starts asking an unusual number of questions about your schedule. Questions like “What time will you be home?” or “When are you hanging out with your friends?” might seem innocent, but they could indicate an effort to create secret time for someone else.
He’s more possessive over his belongings
For example, if he used to leave his phone unattended while showering but now takes it into the bathroom, or if he becomes noticeably agitated when you ask to see a video on his phone, these behaviors can signal possessiveness. This could be a red flag indicating he might be hiding something—or someone.
He gaslights you when you ask if he’s cheating
If you confront your partner and they respond with intense anger, it’s a significant red flag. A cheating partner often reacts defensively instead of acknowledging the truth, frequently deflecting blame back onto you rather than owning up to their actions.
You can smell it
A person’s sense of smell can be a strong indicator of infidelity. If you notice unusual or unfamiliar scents on your partner, it might raise some concerns. For instance, if you catch a whiff of perfume that isn’t yours, it could suggest that something suspicious is going on.
You catch him in little white lies
Lies can often surface around minor issues, but with infidelity, larger deceptions typically overshadow many smaller ones. While cheating is the main concern, your partner might also tell little fibs to cover their tracks—like claiming to run a quick errand or saying a demanding work project is taking up all their time.
Intimacy isn’t the same
Sex can be a strong bonding element in a healthy relationship, but it can also highlight issues when things go wrong. If one partner is unfaithful, it’s often the first indication of trouble. You might feel a distance from your partner, even during intimate moments, or notice sudden spikes in sexual energy that feel disconnected from you. It can be unsettling to realize that your partner’s thoughts may be focused elsewhere.
He doesn’t get upset as much
If you and your partner used to argue frequently but suddenly they’ve changed their approach completely, it could indicate that their heart is elsewhere. When someone has other options, they often become less invested in resolving relationship issues.
He stops talking about your future
The future is shaped by the people we choose to share it with. If your partner has started seeing someone else, they may not envision that future with you. When someone questions your role in their life, it often reflects their uncertainty about a shared path.
He avoids your calls often
If your spouse isn’t answering your calls or consistently responds later, it’s normal to start questioning what’s happening. Most people can usually spare a moment from work to talk with their partner, but the situation can change when it involves a lover.
You find special clothing
Your partner might simply be planning a surprise with some enticing new lingerie or clothing. However, when combined with other red flags, it could raise suspicions. He might claim the lingerie is for a special occasion or a surprise for you, but if it never ends up in your hands, you might start to wonder if it’s meant for someone else.
He has a secret email
Finding an unfamiliar email account can be a significant red flag regarding your spouse’s fidelity. Some partners go to great lengths to create secret email accounts to hide conversations with someone else. You might come across a mysterious email in your inbox or even find yourself locked out of your own account if your spouse changes the password.
He gets defensive quickly
A partner who has been unfaithful may display their guilt through angry and defensive behavior, often overreacting to even minor questions. It’s common for an unfaithful boyfriend to deflect responsibility, which can escalate relationship issues as he tries to convince himself that the blame lies elsewhere.
He starts cutting himself out of your activities
When your partner starts to consider an affair, you might notice some troubling changes. He may begin distancing himself from your friends, skipping group activities and avoiding mutual acquaintances. Suddenly, there’s an increase in “work events,” more “work travel,” and late-night drinks with vague “work people.” Before you know it, he’s consistently coming home later and later.
He stops showing interest in your life
When your partner starts to lose interest in your life and stops sharing theirs, it can feel like you’ve become a third wheel in your own relationship. You might not see that third wheel, but you can certainly sense their presence. It’s as if a shift has taken place, and suddenly, they don’t feel like your person anymore.
His routines change
We all have routines that shape our desired lifestyles, and in a relationship, these habits become second nature. But when those routines shift, it’s like hitting the pause button, prompting you to ask, “Has something changed in his routine?” If so, take note of what’s different and how significant that change is. Sometimes, these shifts can be subtle and go unnoticed at first.
He’s out with his friends more
Initially, just being together was all that mattered to both of you. However, now it feels like you’re slipping down his list of priorities as he spends more time with “friends.” You can sense that you’ve become less significant in his life, especially as he starts to show a wandering eye or appears interested in someone else.
He’s more critical of you
We all have our quirks that could use some improvement, but if your partner starts nitpicking things that never bothered him before, it might be a red flag—he could be cheating. When a partner begins to compare you to the “other person,” it’s easy for them to feel like you fall short, especially when that “other person” seems perfect by comparison.
He doesn’t invite you out often
Ever wonder why you’re not getting invited out as often? This could be a red flag indicating that something is off, such as potential infidelity. A partner can easily sense changes in the energy of a relationship, so it’s important to pay attention to the quality time you’re spending together.
He doesn’t like your questions
Typically, people enjoy sharing the highlights of their day, personal struggles, and what’s happening in their lives with their partner. It’s normal to keep each other informed about where you’ll be and who you’re with, even without prompting. However, if your boyfriend starts to open up less, it could indicate that he’s confiding in someone else.
Excuses aren’t adding up
If you gather the courage to confront your man about something and he has an excuse ready, but you know that excuse doesn’t make sense or contradicts other information he’s given you, it’s a serious red flag that he might be hiding something.
He’s showing intimacy issues
Intimacy issues often stem from our attachment styles. If you have an insecure or avoidant attachment style, forming deep connections can be challenging. You might get close to someone only to retreat when the relationship becomes serious. This push-pull dynamic often arises from difficulties with vulnerability. As these intimacy struggles develop, you may notice your partner pulling away or seeking connection elsewhere.
He threatens breaking up with you
Pay attention if your partner often expresses negativity about your relationship. If every disagreement leads them to question your compatibility or the strength of your bond, take note of their words and actions. This could be a red flag, indicating they might have someone else to rely on if things go wrong.
His responses become more vague
If your partner is considering an affair and keeping secrets from you, reaching out during his absences may become difficult. When you ask about his whereabouts, he might casually mention a work trip, leaving you in the dark about the details. You could also find yourself without a contact number, increasing your feelings of uncertainty and concern.
He spends more time on his phone
If you notice your partner spending significantly more time on their phone than they used to, even when you’re sitting together, it could be a red flag. This concern deepens if you feel that their phone use isn’t related to work. It’s important to look into these changes.
He won’t show you credit card statements
If your spouse is withholding information about their credit card statements or if you discover a secret card they never mentioned, that’s a significant red flag. Don’t ignore these signs; they could indicate deeper issues or a potential affair.
His music taste has changed
A sudden change in musical tastes can raise serious red flags. For example, if he used to be obsessed with classic rock but suddenly fills his favorites playlist with country ballads, it could be a sign that someone else is influencing his choices.
He’s very excited about a new acquaintance
If your spouse begins mentioning a new friend, workout instructor, or coworker too often, it could be a red flag. Someone who’s straying might frequently drop that person’s name, as they often can’t help themselves. It can resemble a crush and may raise concerns that warrant your attention.
Family or friends give you hints
It can be surprising how well your friends and family can detect issues in your relationship before you notice them yourself. If someone close to you expresses concerns, take a moment to listen; their insights might help you gain clarity.
He closes his computer when you’re around
Unless your spouse is trying to find the perfect gift for a special occasion, that sudden screen slam likely indicates he’s hiding something. It could be something innocent, like a video game you dislike, or something more concerning, like flirty messages with someone else. Either way, it definitely raises suspicion.
He has new hobbies
Starting a new hobby, especially one that promotes health, is great! However, if your spouse has taken up an interest that keeps them away for long periods and seems exclusive, it might be worth investigating further. This could be a red flag indicating they are sharing new experiences with someone else.
Hs stops posting about your relationship on social media
Unfaithful partners may go silent on social media, deliberately withholding family updates and photos to prevent jealousy or suspicion from a third party. They might limit their online activity, avoiding posts that could raise eyebrows or prompt questions from you or others.
Your gut is warning you
While clear signs of infidelity can be useful, your gut feeling often knows when something is off in a relationship. You understand your partner’s unique quirks better than anyone else, so when your intuition speaks up, it’s important to trust those instincts and take them seriously!
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